[Press statement]

Cape Town, 1st April: The world-renowned Table Mountain is to benefit from a new attraction with the opening of a huge coal mine it was confirmed today. Recently voted one of the ‘7 Wonders of Nature’, the famous landmark has been selected as the site for the new underground and open cast mine with preliminary work due to begin on site next month. 
Commenting on the news, a source close to the Department of Mineral Resources said, “Table Mountain is getting a brand-new mine head to enhance the natural beauty of the area. The people of Cape Town can look forward to all the benefits of living close to a coal mine including fresh air, clean water and thousands of jobs. Apparently birds also like nesting in mine heads.
“Table Mountain is just the beginning.  The Waterberg biosphere, the iMfolozi Wilderness Area and in Springs, these are just some of the locations for the thousands of new coal mines coming across the country.”
Ferrial Adam of climate change campaign 350Africa.org: “I am lost for words. I wonder if Nedbank, the green bank, will be funding the new mine?”.